About Chiong Bin To
Chiong Bin To is a Romanization of the Taiwanese pronunciation of my Chinese name, which in
Mandarin is Zhang Min Dao. I was born and raised in the suburbs of Chicago, from a mixed Taiwanese home;
my mother was benshenren, my father was waishenren. I was educated up until 18 years of age
in the public school system. From the pit of Model Minority Hell, I was plucked
and placed onto my path by none other than The Most High. From there, I sojourn to discover
all the places through which my path leads. I am first and foremost a student of cultures
and languages, from which I draw inspiration to fuel my creativity. My mission is to reveal
to all people the beauty of each person, in the context of their native cultures, so that
God may be glorified as Creator.
On this page, you will find information as to what I'm doing with my life, with posts published
in timely fashion below.
Into Uniform
I enlisted in the Army in August of 2012.
April of 2012: As a lit major, I was sitting in a post-modern lit class listening to my peers talk about how nothing has meaning, and I reacted against this presentation of effete intellectual life that might have been my future. I wanted the opposite, and the military quickly emerged as an option.
I realized, in the course of time, that what I was after was masculinity. I was out to remedy the weakness I'd allowed myself to cultivate my entire life, which had culminated with a philosophical dead end in a classroom. Is that an embarrassing thing to admit? I don't care, I have no shame. God was about to redefine a lot of concepts for me, though. I've since realized that masculinity is not putting on cammies and gear and toting a gun to look badass. One doesn't have to join the military to be a man; this path is merely the one on which I have been lead. While I don't have a complete handle on true masculinity, I've learned that it requires the paradox of humble confidence that comes from knowing one's place before God, yet also having a firm faith in what he's doing in me and through me. That humble confidence enables a man to lead people on his team, whether that be his church or his family, to be upright in the sight of the Lord.
What is he doing through me? I don't know the full extent of it yet, but what he's doing in me has enabled what he's done so far, and I believe that trend will continue. Not only has God used the process of joining the Army to teach me about being a man, but he's been using that preparation to teach or further hone the traits and skills I will need to fulfill that role: Leadership by example; Discipline which enables devotion; A spirit of self-sacrifice. The list goes on. I've seen so many changes already, both physical and mental, that have grown my faith. The process can only intensify once I'm actually in, and that gets me excited for what God has in store.
If anybody has questions, ask, and I'll do my best to answer.
posted by Ezra M. Chang at 4/18/2013 09:19:00 AM
Spring Term Update
I suppose now, as much as any other, is a good time to post an update. Week 7 of a 10.5 week term is drawing to a close, and I'm not feeling the squeeze—yet.
I've written several short pieces for my Style class, but I don't know whether I should release them, mostly because they include the names of real people and details about them. And some of me and details about me. A note on my Style class: I now cannot look at sentences and paragraphs without dissecting them on a technical level, even though my grammar is still fuzzy and weak.
I've added a couple songs to my "guilty pleasures" list: Jessie J - "Domino" and Rihanna - "Cheers." Yep. Sue me.
I hope to return to the "My Life in Song" project, when I have time. I couldn't even put together a Valentine's Day mix.
My next post will be about God's work in and amongst the people of WCAC. Stay tuned.
posted by Ezra M. Chang at 2/16/2012 08:55:00 PM
My New Most Perplexing Questions
What does masculinity entail in an egalitarian society, if anything at all? Must masculinity persist? If it must, can it only do so in a complementarian society?
My fear is that genders and their associated roles obscure personalities and gifts.
posted by Ezra M. Chang at 12/08/2011 09:40:00 PM
New Project: Ezra's Life in Song
Today marks the advent of a new project, a series of blog posts which recounts the stories behind special songs from my past. These are those songs that, when replayed on the radio while on the way to school or work, when replayed over a cafeteria loudspeaker or restaurant sound system, or even randomly encountered on the Internet, evoke particular emotions and thoughts of people and places. We each have these songs, which may ferry us back to moments of joy, sadness, pleasure, pain, triumph, and defeat.
Without further ado, here is my first of (hopefully) more than ten posts to come: Inaugural Post.
posted by Ezra M. Chang at 11/04/2011 08:21:00 PM
Fall Term Update 2
I published a new creative piece some time ago, titled "Falling Without Style." I don't know why I'm actually linking from here, since nobody reads this (that I know of). I suppose it's just out of principle that I do this.
I wanted to get finger tattoos, but I found out they don't last all that long. I was thinking about getting branded, but that would be super-painful, even more than tattooing. And I wouldn't be able to conceal finger-markings. And branding is pretty much permanent. But... I probably would have gotten this on my left hand: "ga zua," Taiwanese for "cockroach." I'm a fucking cockroach that cannot be killed by anything I encounter in this world. On my right hand, "חרם," Hebrew from the Scriptures for "to devote to destruction." I hunger and thirst for righteousness, and I shall stop at nothing to be given it.
My mind is shot. I'm running on E, and I haven't really done anything today except sit in class. Maybe that takes more than I realize, to pay attention for five hours with of class. I don't feel very fulfilled by what I am doing in these classes. I would like to be creating, but I almost don't remember what that feels like, anymore. I should have chosen to be a writing major. I was created to create, and not doing so makes me feel wasted.
On the upside, I do know that the Gospel is the one thing that I believe in, in this world. Nothing else holds my attention for long. Money could never drive me. Neither can pride, really. All I have that is real is love-- God's and that of my brethren. To multiply that love is my goal in life. Anything I do will be to oppose the systems and powers of darkness that attempt to shut the light out of their fortresses and domains.
In spite of all that weighs on me, I have hope. I need only lean harder on Christ and push through to Thanksgiving. Je vais ai mon jour.
posted by Ezra M. Chang at 11/03/2011 11:26:00 PM